Statute Of Limitations

Ok, so Brooklyn grabbed my hand when she jumped out there and took me with her!
Here is my absolute truth on paper:
For the past month or so I have been seeing this guy from my past. He was one of those crazy "street" boys from back in the day and when we dealt with each other back then neither one of us were looking for anything serious. We just used to fit each other in sexually when we could and go back to our fake ass relationships with other people afterwards. Well, this same dude called me last month because he said he saw my cell phone number in one of his old phones.
*I'm one of those people that keep the same cell phone numbers for 10 years. So technically, anybody from my past could reach out and touch me* Anyhow, he starts calling me all the time and asking if we can go out or spend time with each other and of course this is all after I made up my mind to spend every waking moment writing. The devil knows right when to interfere to attempt to disrupt what God has planned for you! The last time I had kinda turned my attention away from writing, my career was on its way up and one of my old dudes came home from jail and that was it! Not to mention, I still had one foot in the street myself at the time. But due to that very lesson in life, I refused to become distracted yet again by a guy from my past who has just come home from jail. Yes, the guy was going through his old phone because he had just done 8 months in jail behind a charge that was over 10 years old and he was transferring numbers into his new phone since he just got home. It was almost too similar from the last experience to even be considered by me. I told this guy that I didn't have time to cultivate a relationship and that my current focus was my writing and that I could not make any exceptions in his regard. Still, he kept calling me. He said he understood where I was coming from and wouldn't get in my way but still he persisted. And with the devil able to make things appear so appealing, I started to think that this guy was actually doing what all the others weren't.........Stepping Up! Wasn't I complaining like three blogs ago about nobody stepping up to love me? Well, dude was and he didn't pay my shitty attitude any mind either and that could stand alone and be a winner in my book! I mean, he was so attentive and had no qualms about my popularity, he didn't seem threatened by the amount of people I knew and all he ever wanted to do was be with me. Now, on the surface I was thinking.....'How and why is this happening now?' It all looked like everything I ever wanted was being placed before me and I wasn't sure whether to embrace it or look at it as a distraction from my writing. I was SO conflicted. Needless to say, after incessant phone calls and requests to see me, I folded like a lawn chair! We were going out to dinner every weekend, talking on the phone every night and I even gave up my celibate ways for this guy because I knew it would be worth it. Again, I'm thinking....'When I had sex with him 17 years ago it was poppin so it could've only gotten better with time!' AND he ate coochie like a Champion! He was what I like to call, a professional "cock sucker"!Uh, cha-ching!
So now, not only are we spending excessive amounts of time together but now we're sleeping with each other and doin all kinds of nasty shit that shouldn't have happened because it was taking me off my square a little bit. I was still writing but never when he was around. I found myself staying up until the wee hours of the morning writing because I was fitting it in after work so that I wouldn't feel guilty about spending time with him on the weekend and not with the laptop. This went on for about three weeks and then I began to start feeling like I was being smothered. Does that sound selfish? It felt like I was being selfish! I mean, didn't I just convince myself three weeks prior that this guy was giving me everything I ever wanted out of a relationship? Everything but a minute to my fuckin self! I started to notice that my carpets needed to be vacuumed, my bathroom needed to be cleaned, I was three weeks overdue for going to the market, a mani-pedi was in order and I must've been living in some adolescent version of infatuation! Once coming to the realization that something had to give, I spent that night in emotional turmoil! I was tossing and turning and reminding myself of NOT being distracted, no less the same damn way I had been distracted before, except this time I didn't have ANY feet in the street, he didn't have a job because he had just come home from jail and I was paying for almost everything! Oh say it ain't so! What was once viewed like the answer to my prayers has turned into a friggin nightmare. I began to notice that if I didn't respond to his text messages fast enough that he would have sent me 8 messages and the last one would always say something like, "I guess you decided to move on. Have a nice life!" My rational side said that was a red flag but the part of me that liked getting head thought it was cute that he seemed jealous. It was almost like he was the usually insecure girl in the relationship and I was the dope dealer with no time that didn't feel like being bothered anymore because I had gotten what I wanted already! Now, being that I have completely turned my life around and was no longer the professional liar, upscale bullshitter that just stepped off without word when something turned me left.......I decided that I was gonna take my new approach of communicating and explaining my current feelings on the situation so that he would know exactly how I felt and maybe somehow understand my position. I even tried to justify his behaviors of being excessive with my being used to being single and not being used to sharing my time with anyone. I talked to one of my younger cousins who told me that I was probably feeling overwhelmed because I hadn't allowed anyone in my life for so long. That it deemed overbearing to be suddenly bombarded with phone calls and visits and sex after not having those things shadowing me for a number of years. And she also told me that if I liked him that I shouldn't cut him off just because I felt smothered but that I should talk to him and explain that I need to have a day to myself on the weekend or that maybe we should only see one another every other weekend. Again I started to think, 'Maybe she's right! Maybe I've forgotten how to compromise!' And so I attempt to have a heart felt conversation with a 42 year old man who says that he only wants the best for me. I went on to explain the conversation with my cousin and how we should ease up a little bit because I need to re-learn how to share my life with someone. It sounded as if this conversation went really well and he expressed to me that he could relate with where I was coming from and that he was glad that I was willing to continue our growing relationship, even if it meant slowing down. It was like a weight had been lifted and I could breathe again! I was proud of myself for moving forward and being honest about how I felt as not to be deceiving or leading him on.
Now this is where it all went to shit: The very next day after this conversation, I had to get up early to take my oldest niece to school and work was pretty hectic the whole night and I had to get up early the next day for physical therapy, so I was looking forward to going home and crashing because the day seemed longer than three football fields put together! And don't you know that I get a message from dude asking me, "When are you ever gonna ask me to spend time with you? Or tell me that you want to see me?" I couldn't believe it! I was at my limit with the "full court press" from this guy and so I reply, "I'll ask you the 1st day that you DON'T ask me, which is never because you're always up my ass!" He then proceeds to say that he now has to question my sincerity and my motives in the relationship. I automatically blacked out! I think the only word I probably saw in that message was "motives". MY MOTIVES! You came into my life at a time when I no longer had ulterior motives! I was no longer that selfish, shallow, bitch that I used to be, not to mention I was paying for dinner half the time! MY MOTIVES! That was it! My reply message was nothing short of, "Fuck You! I'm through with this shit!" Needless to say I got 2,000 text messages that night from this stalker calling himself breaking up with me. Then when I woke up, I had more messages saying that he was sorry for going that far but he was ALWAYS going that far! If I didn't reply to any of his messages fast enough, he was going far, far, away like a million miles up and jumping out of airplanes with the shit he would say and now I had realized that he was CRAZY! After which he called me, and when I answered the phone with an attitude no less, he just says, "What's up? I was just talking to my homie and I was cracking up about........." I had to cut him off and say, "Uh, I don't have anything to else to say to you!" And he proceeds with, "Oh, Stop It!" So I follow with, "There's no 'stop it'! I'm through and I'm serious! I can no longer baby you through this situation because now I realize it's not ME being selfish, its YOU being crazy! From the beginning I told you that I didn't have time to cultivate a relationship because I had too many things going on in my life since I decided to write a movie and writing treatments for tv shows, going hard and being aggressive towards my writing career again. I'm sorry but I'm done! This is over!" *The title of this blog comes in here* I think there should be a statute of limitations on how old you can be and still have the allowance for temper tantrums! Once I hung up the phone with this 42 year old man I began getting messages that went like this: "I hope you die!" "You're a fuckin whore!" Please bitch die! Please!" I feel like in any minute that I could end up on a episode of "Snapped" or "The First 48" because this dude is REALLY crazy! Can anyone say, Prozac?