being a mother has brought certain calm about me. i guess that is why i write more now instead of having meaningless conversation. it has been said that mediocre individuals and circumstance will enter my life and i will choose to tolerate it yet be unfulfilled. well i’ve decided to change the stars of the zodiac and not accept the average actions of most. i am worth so much more than i have been given; worth more than what i have accepted. as i grow closer to God...as i see the change in me...i love more...i feel more understanding, empathy and tranquility in my life. yes i am more emotional, though more solid in my thoughts and actions. i do not look at the anguish of life but the joyfulness in it. i am so overwhelmingly pleased...though i have to keep God in my heart and meditate on His word...for i still wake in the middle of the night missing what i knew before.

however, i know what is in store if i follow the path i have begun to walk. i am single and presently that is where God wants me. he is preparing my king to call my name. and i am to wait in serenity...wait for my man to treasure, appreciate, value and respect me. the man of my dreams will do so without influence or assurance. holy mate, designed for me will know my worth and constantly confirm it with love and care. he will be thankful knowing he has found a good thing in me…the righteous me. not a distressed deprived me. so i will not run after any man but be sought after. i have been in a place where man was my every breath, yet God dose not need me there anymore. i am valued and he told me so. yes i want to touch, love and be taken care of. but i have learned and accepted that the Lord has been taking care of me my whole life. i have been intimate with Him in my thoughts and He loves me more than any on earth. i’ve been told to delight myself in the Lord and i shall receive all the desires of my heart. so i love me, myself and i and more outstandingly i love God. yes i wait for my desires to be completed…i wait to become my king’s queen and i pass the time merrily…most of the time