Dating, Love and Abstinence!

Question: Can you even call it dating when you’re 36? Cant’t we just call it experimental relationships?
I am at a point where I feel like maybe I’ll just be by myself for the rest of my life! Either the men I meet are star struck, already in a relationship or just plain LOSERS!
Sometimes I feel lonely and sometimes I wonder if I’m even capable of being serious with someone? It’s kind of a comfort to be alone because I can just “do me” but at the same time it’s weird because men hit on me day and night! Telling me how beautiful I am and trying to get my number and it makes me wonder………………..If I’m so beautiful then why can’t I find a person to share my life with? I’m a professional, I don’t have any children, I’ve never been married and I’m attractive. Uh, hello…….is Mr. Right out there? My male friends have told me that I am intimidating because I am very outspoken and forward. I would think that’s more desirable than being shy and docile. I myself would not be attracted to someone who can’t say how they feel. Hey don’t get me wrong, it took me quite a few “trip and falls” before I learned how to be less evasive with my inner most feelings but I was raised a spoiled brat and my motto has always been “closed mouths don’t get fed!” So, when a man says that women who know what they want are more appealing I’m thinking: How and when does appealing turn into intimidating? And now that I think about it, why is the word “dating” at the end of intimidating?
I can’t seem to get a date because I’ve been told that I intimidate! Oxymoron?

I miss the feeling of touch. Hands on my body, lips on my face, breath in my ear, tongue in my mouth, back pressed against the wall or face pressed into the pillow. Is it the act of making love that I miss or is it love that I miss all by itself? Saving myself, saving myself, saving myself for……..that perfect moment? That special individual? My wedding day? I want to be man handled, in the literal sense of being handled by a man. Someone with hands strong enough to hold the weight of all I have been storing up for intimacy.