i'm a survivor, i'm not gonna give up...

"twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. so throw off the bowlines. sail away from the safe harbor. catch the trade winds in your sails. explore. dream. discover." ~ mark twain

every once in a while, i come across prose that i wish i had written, or at least that offer me some semblance of peace to my crazy life. i live hard, love hard, work hard, play hard and unfortunately grieve hard. but what is the alternative? to sit around waiting for life to come invite me out to play? not for me... if tomorrow never comes, i want to take my last breath knowing that i gave it my all and stopped to smell every rose and listened to every bird chirp. if i go down, imma go down fighting, even staggering up to throw a punch or two. the following poem relates to love, but there is so much more to it than just that... it is also about strength of character, which is the most important trait i feel anyone could have. one of my friends once told me how much he admired me because in his words, "you are like a prize fighter... you let life get in the first punches in the first couple of rounds to prepare your defense. then once you know his weak spots and know how he jabs and punches, you use that information to knock him the fuck out." while i appreciate that sentiment, and yes, there are times i have scored a win here or there, i still bear the bruises (and possibly the aftermath of a few concussions) from the aforementioned life. having said that, while he is a formidable opponent, i do intend to win. and the only thing that can help me do that is my strength of character.

enjoy... and i hope these words can bring you peace as they have done for me.

i've learned - veronica shoffstall 1971

after a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul

and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security

and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises

and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open

with the grace of a woman,
not the grief of a child

and you learn to build all your roads on today,
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight

after awhile you learn that even sunshine
burns if you get too much

so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers

and you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth,
and you learn and learn
with every good bye you learn.